The ABCs of Beck and Riley
by basil and dill
Summary: Some Alphabet Drabbles about Riley and Beck...because the world could use more of their cuteness! :)
1. A is for Always

**Hi guys! So I decided that there really isn't enough stories about Beck and Riley...Beckthorne?...Beckey?...out there so I thought 'hey, why don't I do an alphabet drabble on them?' so that's what I'm doing. :)) Some chapters might be longer than others, and some might be more angsty but one thing will always remain true: I solemnly swear that all chapters will have a Beck/Riley aspect. :D So here we go!**

**Disclaimer: Much as I would love to say otherwise, I don't own squat. **

* * *

Beck gritted his teeth as he stepped out of the truck, pulling his duffel bag with him. He gasped when the side of the bag brushed against his back. He felt the wet heat of his own blood weeping down his lower back and saturating the waistline of his pants.

_Dumb move, Beck._ _Going trappin' alone was a dumb move._

He should have just waited until he simmered down. Better yet, he should have locked the door, pulled the blinds and settled in to drown his thoughts.

But after Riley had left all he saw were her shattered eyes when he told her the kiss hadn't meant anything to him.

Her shaking hands as she tried to open the door to leave.

Her tearstained face as she looked at him —hurt and confused.

_God girl, I'm not worth yer tears._

He felt like he was vibrating from anger; anger at his town for painting him black, anger at Sadie for slapping him red and anger at Justine for turning what was gold to grey. He paced around his house until he grabbed his bag and had taken off. He figured that if he was this riled up he might as well take it out on a few creatures of hell that actually deserved it.

_Unlike Riley_, the thought wormed his way into his mind. He gripped the wheel harder and sped up.

It was a miracle he hadn't been hurt worse. He had been lost in thought, completely unfocused when the Three had crawled out of a sewer he just passed. He had registered the movement below the streetlight and automatically his hand was in his duffel. The Three had cackled and taken a swipe at his back just as he was spinning around, his momentum driving the beast's claws farther into his flesh. He managed to pull a out a sphere and the demon was so close all he had to do was smash it down on top of its head.

The demon had howled and dove back into the sewer.

Cursing his own stupidity for being caught off guard he had hobbled back to his truck, poured what he had left of his holy water onto his back and somehow, through his dizziness, made it home.

This was how he ended up stumbling through his front door. He was starting to sway on his feet, dizzy from blood loss. His bag landed beside the bed with a thump and Beck lumbered to the washroom. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and he almost laughed from giddy shock.

_I look like a damned Halloween decoration, so much blood it looks fake._

He quickly sobered when he gingerly tried to remove his shirt and found that the crusty blood had glued the shirt to his back. He exhaled loudly, trying to keep in a shout as a slowly peeled off his shirt, inch by painful inch.

_God, it's like the world's largest freakin' band-aid._

He dropped the shirt to the ground in disgust and took a bottle of fresh holy water from the cabinet.

He went and sat down on the side of the tub, wincing when the position stretched his wound. With fumbling hands he unscrewed the top of the bottle.

_This is goin' to hurt like hell._

He took a deep breath and poured the water onto his back, moaning when the heat started to first lick then stab his cut. The more he poured the more he felt as if his back was going to erupt in flames, but he knew that if he didn't keep going he was going to be dead as a doornail by morning.

By the time the bottle was empty Beck was barley staying upright. The bottle slid from his grasp and shattered in the tub just as darkness stole Beck's vision.

As he slumped forward and hit the tile floor his brain conjured up the sweetest voice calling his name.

* * *

Beck awoke to a tugging sensation. He opened his eyes blearily, first one and then the other.

He was in his room.

On his bed.

_What the hell?_

He thought back and remembered that the last thing he had remembered was passing out in the bathroom, definitely not on his bed lying on his stomach. He tried to push himself up but a hand was on his back, right between his shoulder blades, pushing him down gently.

"Beck, you don't even _think _about moving," Carmela's voice came from behind and above him. There was another tug on his back.

He turned his head away from the door and saw Carmela standing beside his bed.

_How did she get here?_

Carmela was muttering under her breath and Beck caught the words 'testosterone' and 'moron' as she stitched up his back with nibble fingers. Beck couldn't help but grin a little.

The grin slid away when he heard Riley's voice coming from the doorway, "How's he doing?"

"Ask him yourself," Carmela replied.

Beck turned his head and saw Riley standing in the doorway. For a brief moment, Beck caught Riley off guard. She looked tiered and worried; her face was pale and strands of hair were starting to escape her ponytail.

Something inside Beck softened.

_Paul and Donovan were the only two to ever look at me like that. Why does my past life have to go and screw this up too? _

When she noticed that Beck was awake and looking at her she crossed her arms and glowered at him, all traces of concern gone.

Beck paved over his resolve and glowered right on back.

"What are ya doin' here?"

"I came for my second helping of stubborn ass," Riley retorted.

"Okay," Carmela said as she took off her gloves and started putting things back into her med-bag, "I think that's my cue to go."

She packed up while Beck and Riley continued to glare at each other.

When Carmela had everything she went to stand beside Beck. "I'll be back in about 4 days to remove the stitches. You need to pour holy water on it every day so it doesn't get infected. If you get a fever you call me."

Beck nodded his head on the pillow, "Thanks for comin'."

Carmela was almost to the door when she turned, "And Beck, I know I'm talking to the wind when I say this, but try not to get into wrestling matches and reopen the stitches. Believe it or not, you're not my only patient."

"Yes, ma'am," Beck touched his two fingers to his head and gave her a salute.

When she left Beck and Riley just stared at each other, each unsure of where they stood.

"It was Jackson," Riley said, breaking the silence and coming to sit by the chair that had been dragged to the side of his bed.

"Jackson?"

"He passed your truck on the road and saw you swerving. He couldn't follow you home because he was answering a call about a pyro so he called me."

"So ya decided to pay me a visit. Make sure I hadn't drunk myself under the table."

Riley shook her head slightly. "I know you wouldn't drink and drive."

There was a brief pause where Riley didn't say anything, she stared past Beck lost in thought.

"I figured Jackson was worried for no reason and that you'd just yell at me some more when I got here but then I saw your front door wide open."

She slumped in her chair, the energy that kept her upright and prickly dissolved.

"I came in and saw you passed out on the bathroom floor, blood all over. God Beck, you were so still, I thought that…" she faltered and Beck could see her hands shake on her lap. She took a deep breath and ran a trembling hand over her face.

She looked at him, "What the hell happened?"

Beck knew he owed her the truth. He owed this girl much more than the truth but the truth was all he could give. So he told her about the sewer-dwelling Three.

When he finished Riley was looking at her hands.

"You don't get to do this to me," she said slowly in a hushed tone, still studying her fingers. "Not after dad and mom. I don't know if I have the energy to survive another loss." She paused.

"'_All the King's horses and all the King's men, couldn't put Humpty together again_,'" she whispered.

She looked at Beck, her eyes broken but her voice strong, "I can't lose you."

She let that sink in.

Beck felt stupid having such a heavy conversation lying in bed on his stomach. He started to turn to sit up but felt a sharp blast of pain that had him hissing. Riley was beside him in an instant, one hand on his shoulder and another on his back.

"You shouldn't move around yet."

"I just wanna sit up, I can't lie on my stomach forever." He shifted again and with Riley's help he was sitting with his back propped up on two pillows against the headboard. When Beck was settled Riley sat down on the edge of his bed.

"I don't know what that stick chick is writing about—what you did that you think is so bad that you can't tell me—but what I do know is that I'm not going to leave without a fight. What we have isn't something that you just go and throw away, so I'll be here when you realize that you want to stop running."

Her look was fierce and strong and burned holes straight through his eye's and into his soul. In that moment his breath caught and his admiration for her increased tenfold but reality had a way of sneaking in.

_If only it were that easy. When ye'll hear what they say I won't be the only one runnin', _Beck thought sadly.

Riley's hand sought out Beck's on the bed and they stayed like that until the pain medication started to work.

Beck was half asleep when the thought struck him. He opened his eyes and looked for Riley. She was had moved back to the chair but was still holding his hand, that same tiered look on her face that he'd originally seen.

"Ya need to go feed—"

"It's already done," Riley interrupted giving his hand a slight reassuring squeeze. "I fed Rennie when Carmela was working on your back. I think she was worried about you, the little thing was running around frantically in her cage."

He relaxed back into his pillow. His breathing slowed and deepened.

"Thanks, Riley," he said before sleep completely took him under.

'I wasn't going to let the little one starve just because her owner decided to tango with a fiend," Riley said amused.

"No, thanks for comin' to save my sorry ass."

"Always," Riley whispered.

"Always," Beck said slowly, trying it out and deciding he liked the feel.

* * *

**I have a couple pretty compact ideas for some of the letters but if you have an idea for a letter or something you really want me to write about, feel free to send me a PM. I'd love to hear from you and reviews make my day (hint, hint) :)**

**Hope to see you guys back here in about a week!**


	2. B is for Birthday

**Hey guys! Okay, so here's the deal: I think that I'm just a couple years late in writing this fanfic because it seems like the whole Demon Trappers craze is over. In response to the person who reviewed and asked me to write more, I would if someone's going to read it. **** For about two weeks it was stuck at one view so that was a little disheartening. :P I'll leave it up to you guys to decide: if you want me to keep going with this fic then all you need to do is follow or review! I'd love to write more but if no one is going to read it then I'd rather focus my attention to the other fic I'm currently working on.**

**Also, I don't think I said this last time, but all the stories are independent of each other so just because Beck and Riley are officially lovey-dovey in D doesn't mean that they're going to be in E.**

**Thanks to all of you that read! You guys are great! **

**Disclaimer: Ownage: me=0% **

* * *

The alarm on the bedside table went off and the radio announcer's fake-cheery voice filled the bedroom.

Riley groaned and turned away from the noise, burying her face in her pillow.

"Make it stop."

Lying on his side beside Riley, Beck chuckled at just how much of a twelve year old girl Riley sounded in the mornings. Especially when they had to get up early; he all but had to drag her out of bed when they had Trapper meetings to get to.

He reached over Riley and clicked off the radio. At the sound of silence Riley let out a content sigh which tugged a self-satisfied grin onto Beck's face.

_Fightin' demons by day and lethal alarm clocks by mornin'. It really is a full-time job._

Riley wiggled herself into Beck's side and draped an arm over his chest, reflexively pulling herself closer in her drowsy state. Beck looked down at her sleepy form and his heart warmed.

He had never understood those people who were able to stay in bed after they'd already woken up; he had seen it as such a waste of time. When you're up, you're up, time to get to work on the day. He now looks back and scoffs at his foolish self. There was something so reassuring and soothing in waking up to Riley and though the strength of the thought scared him sometimes, he could see himself waking up the exact same way forty years from now.

He trailed his fingertips slowly up and down along the length of her arm.

"So are we goin' to spend yer entire birthday here," he asked in amused whisper.

Riley shifted and readjusted her head on his shoulder. "Mmm," she let out a soft moan, "maybe. S'my birthday."

Beck smiled. _No one would guess that she's one of the fiercest demon hunters out there by the way she acts in the mornin's._

"What if I said I have a surprise for ya? Something that maybe involves hot chocolate?"

Riley groaned and rolled over onto her back on her side of the bed. She reached her arms up and stretched for a moment before letting out a satisfied sigh. She looked blearily over at Beck.

"I'd say that you know exactly how to manipulate me," her voice thick with sleep.

Beck leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to her slightly smiling lips. "I'll see ya downstairs."

* * *

Riley pulled her hair into a messy ponytail as she slowly went down the stairs. Beck knew exactly what to say, but it was more the curiosity than the promise of hot cocoa that had finally lured her out. She smiled to herself as his voice drifted up, singing another one of his beloved Carrie Underwood songs. She quickened her pace and flew down a whole bunch of steps. She was almost at the bottom when the smell made her stop in her tracks, rooted to the step she was standing on.

It brought so many happy memories racing back that she had to brace herself on the handrail. All those birthdays when she had woken up to the smell of blueberry pancakes. When she had rushed down to the kitchen and seen her mom expertly flipping a pancake with a blueberry smile as her dad told her a story, both laughing softly not wanting to wake her.

When her mom had died her dad had continued the ritual, though it took him a couple tries to perfect the pancakes. The first year most of the blueberry smiles were a little contorted, but that was okay because their own smiles were also a little deformed at the time.

* * *

Beck heard the tell-tale squeak of the fourth step and new that Riley was coming. He surveyed the table. He had gotten up early and went out and bought some colourful flowers and they were sitting in the middle of the table. The two mugs of hot chocolate he just poured were still steaming and the smell mixed with the stack of blueberry pancakes. The last pancake was just cooking in the pan.

It was her first birthday after Paul's death and he knew that it wasn't going to be easy for her. It didn't matter how tired Paul was from trapping the night before, he would always wake up early to make the pancakes for Riley birthday. All tiredness disappeared when it came to Riley and he had shown Beck the same care and for that Beck loved him; loved him more than he had loved most people in his life.

_Where is that girl? She should've shown up by now._

Beck stuck his head out of the kitchen and was about to call up to Riley but he saw her on the steps, just standing there. Concerned, he walked over to her and she didn't even seem to notice his approach. Standing in front of her he could see that the hand that was clutching the rail was white and that her eyes were glistening a little from the moisture.

He reached out and placed his hand on top of hers. This seemed to bring her out of her reverie. She blinked and took in Beck looking up at her with understanding in his eyes.

He squeezed her hand lightly. "Ya okay?"

Riley smiled at him apologetically. "It just hit me a little. The smell just brought me back to when they were here. All those birthday breakfasts, they never got old." She swallowed hard.

_Ah damn. And here I was thinkin' that the pancakes would be a good idea._

"I'm sorry." He looked away. "The breakfasts were a family thing and I shouldn't have figured I could just carry on the torch."

Riley stepped down until she was only one step above Beck, her face levelled with his.

"But you are family," she said softly. She reached out and touched his cheek. "The smell brought back happy memories. I loved those breakfast because I got to spend them with the two people I loved the most."

She brushed her fingers over his cheek and laid her palm flat onto it. Beck leaned into her touch.

"I love you for knowing how much a simple blueberry pancake means to me." She leaned in and kissed him gently. He returned her kiss and laced their fingers together. He felt her hum against his lips in contentment.

When they pulled back for air, Beck rested his forehead against hers. With his eyes closed, he enjoyed the feel of her soft breath on his cheek, the feel of her so close to him. Riley pulled back suddenly and stuck her face up, smelling the air.

"Is something burning?" She looked inquiringly at Beck.

"Son of a bitch," Beck yelped as he ran towards the kitchen.

* * *

**Okay, so like I said before, if you want me to continue just follow or review. I'd love to hear from you guys and reviews make my day (hint, hint) **

**If this doesn't end up being continued, thanks for all those people who took the time to read the stories, I really appreciate it! **

**Have a good week, wherever in the world you might be, and hopefully I'll write to you guys soon! **


	3. C is for Confession

**Okay you three followers, you've convinced me :P Thanks for all of you who took the time to tell me what you thought and also for following. You guys are great! :)**

**Tbugwilson: Since I can't send you a PM I just want to doubly thank you for your review. You were two times as convincing :D**

**Diclaimer: One day I was skipping down the street singing 'I own the Demon Trapper's series' when Jana Oliver rode up on her bicycle (it had a basket in the front) and gave me a death glare. "No you don't," she said, before pedalling away and leaving me in her dust.**

* * *

9 years later

She clutched at the cold ceramic sides of the toilet bowl as she heaved and gagged and watched the last remnants of her stomach come up. She coughed and gagged some more, because really, there was nothing left. When the dry heaves finally subsided she blindly reached her hand up and fumbled around for the flush. She winced at how loud the toilet was, not wanting to wake her husband.

Spent, she leaned back against the wall and tried to regain her breath. She'd woken up and was wondering what woke her when her stomach roiled and she barely made it to the washroom.

The springs of the bed creaked slightly and slow, sleepy footsteps approached the bathroom. "Riley?" The door was pushed open a little more and Beck squinted in the dark washroom, the only source of illumination was the moonlight drifting through the sole window. When he saw her state and the way she was angled towards the toilet he put two and two together and crouched down in front of Riley.

"We sure know how to pick these restaurants, don't we?" He looked sympathetically at his wife. "Obviously the guy that said 'third time's the charm' never tried his hand at eatin' in our fine city."

He took a hand towel out of the cupboard and ran it under the tap. He walked back to Riley, the moist towel in one hand and a bottle of mouthwash in the other. Sitting in front of her, he gave her the mouth wash and she swished it around while Beck took her hair out of her face and gathered it back into a loose, low ponytail. She spat the mouthwash out into the toilet, turning the toilet water green and sat back. She looked over at Beck with gratitude.

"Go back to bed; you got in so late last night. You can get a couple more hours of sleep, honestly, I'm fine."

Beck snorted as he used the towel to dab away the perspiration on her face.

"I think the elephant matin' calls I heard comin' from in here and our poor abused toilet would beg te differ."

Riley rolled her eyes but her lips tugged at the corners nonetheless.

"What I'm trying to figure out is that you ate at the same places I did these last few days and you're completely fine."

He huffed out a laugh as he pressed the cold cloth to her forehead. "Ya sound almost upset at the fact that I'm not joinin' ya in yer early mornin' ritual."

"No, it's just weird."

"It's cuz of the street smarts I've got tickin' away up here." He said with false cockiness and tapped the side of his head. "I order the easiest things of the menu, not a whole lot they can do te poison pasta."

Riley's eyes widened and she pushed him away as she lunged for the toilet. Beck held her head back as she heaved.

"I told ya not te go for the fish."

She gagged in response.

* * *

On a pure 'eh-what-the-hell' whim she stopped by the pharmacy and made a purchase. Now, an hour later, she was sitting on the edge of the bathtub.

Staring at the little pink plus sign in her hand.

_I'm like one of those naive women from the movies that I used to snigger at because there was just no way they _didn't_ know that they were pregnant. _

She stood up and set the test on the corner of the sink. Looking at her reflection in the mirror she couldn't find any traces that suggested that there was another life growing inside her. Her skin was definitely not glowing, more like perspiring. They had always wanted kids but she always figured they'd sit down and actually plan for them; when the time is right, when they're ready.

She brought both her hands to her flat stomach.

_I can't believe I have a little bit of both of us swirling together and growing a baby in me._

An image of a little baby with Beck's playful smile and her large eyes formed in her mind and it made her laugh at the cuteness. Her laughter transformed and soon she was crying but these tears weren't mixed with salt, they were mixed with love and tenderness for a cluster of cells that was probably the size of a sesame seed.

* * *

She was just putting the dressing onto the salad when she heard the key scrape in the lock and she looked over to see Beck step into the hall and set his bag down while he slipped out of his shoes. He came into the kitchen and gave her a tired smile before he leaned in for a kiss. Ever since he'd made grand master he'd worked crazy hours dealing with even crazier demons.

"How was your day," she asked when they pulled apart.

Beck groaned. "Trust me, ya don't wanna know. One of the rookies was tryin' te capture a biblio-fiend that'd taken up residence in the city hall archives and let's just say I had some mayor damage control te do when all the city records were sucked into a massive, twirlin' tornado in the middle of the entrance." He snatched an olive out of the salad and evaded the wooden mixing spoon Riley tried to smack his hand away with.

He wiggled his fingers in front of her and his eyes twinkled while he chewed on the olive. "Cat-like reflexes." He wandered over to the fridge. "How 'bout ya, ya feelin' any better?"

Riley stopped mixing the salad. "Umm, yeah."

_I'm going to tell him._ She didn't know why she was so nervous. It was Beck. She already knew he adored kids.

Beck opened the fridge and peered inside. He pulled out a beer and twisted off the cap.

"Ya want one?" He took a swing of his.

Riley took a breath to steady herself.

"Ahh, no. I'm not going to be wanting one for a little while." She paused with her eyes trained on Beck. "Nine months, to be exact."

She watched his eyebrows scrunch together and hold a little meeting with each other to make sense of the information. She knew the exact moment they figured it out because they sprang apart and raised, as if moving to higher ground. His hand came down mechanically and set his beer on the counter, though he never actually let go.

"Yer pregnant," he realized while still wearing that look of complete surprise. He didn't move, he didn't blink. He barely breathed.

Riley's stomach sank. _He's not talking. Say something. Why isn't he saying anything? He's not ready. Just talk! My God, he doesn't want this. _

It felt like someone had clicked pause and the actors were frozen in their spots. What felt like minutes passed by but Riley knew it couldn't have been anymore than 10 seconds.

All of a sudden Beck's breath whooshed out and a wide grin spread across his face. It was so large that it made his eyes crinkle in the corners.

"Yer pregnant?!" And this time it came out sounding like a question, a question for something you can't believe is true; like, "We won the lottery?" or "You have super-human powers that let you move things with your mind?"

Riley looked at her husband's goofy grin and couldn't help but smile in return. "Yeah, I am."

She didn't think it was possible but Beck's grin grew and he started laughing, like he couldn't believe something this good was happening to him. He whooped from joy and grabbed her up in a tight hug and lifted her off the floor until they were spinning around in the middle of the kitchen.

When at last he set her down they were both out of breath and wearing matching dazed, happy expressions.

"We're havin' a baby," he said breathlessly and Riley could see that his eyes were a little watery. He placed a hand onto her stomach.

"We're having a baby," she said back and placed her hand on top of his.

They gazed at each other, the joy, love, excitement and protectiveness for each other and this little bean bouncing back and forth between them.

"I love ya," he whispered to her.

"I love you too."

He bent down until his face was level with her stomach. "I love ya too, little guy."

Riley laughed. "Or gal."

"Or gal," Beck agreed, grinning like a fool.

* * *

**Well, there you go. I'm not too sure I like this one. It sounded so much better when I was writing it in my head, but then again, most things do tend to sound better in my head :P Thanks for reading, I'd absolutely adore it if you dropped me a review to tell me your thoughts. **

**I'll probably upload another one mid December. I need to really sit down and get through these killer final exams. :)**

**Hope to see you guys back here then! :D **


	4. D is for Doors

**Hi everyone! So much for my hopes that I would update by mid-December, haha, sorry about that, you four great followers, you! :P So this chapter is the longest I've written so far in this fic (maybe that makes up for the fact that I haven't updated in forever :) ) I'm thinking from now on, especially while schools going on, the chapters are going to be way shorter, but then maybe during breaks and summer vacation (if I haven't finished by then...doesn't really look like it at the rate I'm going) I'll write longer ones. **

**Thanks to all of you who have read, followed, reviewed and favourited. All of you are awesome! :D**

**Special thanks to Tbugwilson (who I can't PM so I'll just thank you here): Thank you!**

**As always, the characters belong to Jana Oliver (though I wouldn't mind stealing Beck for a day...you know, in case I run into a fiend :P)**

* * *

I watched the last good thing walk away. I watched her get into her car, slam the door and drive away – without a backward glance. I stood there and watched her go, let her go…_made_ her go. I knew she would have stayed by my side, with her fierce loyalty and stubborn pride, but she'd already taken an all-inclusive trip to hell and what kind of man would I be if I dragged her back?

She'd fought me every step of the way. Even when I threw words meant to not only stab but impale, she'd swallowed back her hurt and looked deep inside me; trying to find the piece of puzzle that would make my uncaring ways and scaring words make sense.

I knew she would stay, even when Justine would publish her article that painted me as a murderer. Even when we would be dragged back to Sadlersville where everyone looked at me like a slutty piece of dirt.

Even when she'd meet my momma.

That was why I fought hard, kicked and punched with my words, until she'd left. I won but all I wanted to do was chase after the car, shouting her name, until I saw the brake lights. As I held myself back, all I wanted to do was pull her away from this good bye, draw her into a fierce hug and say sorry until she understood.

But reality warred with my fantasy and I once again shot back to why I sent her away to begin with. I wanted her far away by the time the shit hit the fan.

So I steeled my heart, wrapped it tightly in Kevlar so nothing else would stab at it, and shut the door.

I numbly shut the door on all present possibilities.

I desperately wanted to travel back in time to shove the door shut to the past.

And I prayed that there would still be a door left to open in the future.

* * *

_7 Years Later…_

I checked my reflection in the mirror one last time. Eyeing my hair, I ran my fingers through it, trying to arrange it into something that looked presentable. It was longer than it'd been, well anything was longer than the military cut I had. I looked at my reflection and tried to see it the way a stranger would. Tried to see me the way she would.

It'd been so many years, and it wasn't just my hair that'd changed. I'd changed. Oh so many years ago, after I'd watched Riley drive away I'd thrown my things into a bag and drove down to Sadlersville. I was itching for a fight and of course it was Donovan who found me in that puffed up state. He finally managed to talk me into staying with him and after more than six frustrating years, we'd finally uncovered the truth. It was almost plain, dumb luck too. Dumb on McGovern's part anyway.

McGovern had taken Nate's rifle after he'd killed them in the swamp and he thought that after so many years no one would recognize it if he tried to sell it. So he sold it to the town's pawn shop and it was plain chance that Donovan had to go in to talk to the pawn store's owner about some stolen jewelry that may come his way. He saw the rifle on display behind the counter and something had nagged at him the whole time he spoke with the owner. Before Donovan left he'd asked to see the rifle. He brushed his fingers over the place someone had scratched out something on the side, but as he lifted the gun he saw the initials NTK on the underbelly. Donovan thought he was hallucinating; he'd been looking for a clue for so many years only to have something like this show up right in front of him.

Within the hour McGovern was arrested and held without bail, not that anyone wanted to bail him out to begin with. When his cell door clanged shut the chains I'd been dragging for half my life dissolved. I felt light, lighter than I could ever remember feeling. It was like my life had started then. Even with my newfound sense of calm there was something missing and that something came in the shape of a sassy, smart mouth girl who could more than hold her own with me. Even after almost seven years, not a day went by where I didn't think of her, not a night went by where I didn't dream of her laugh, the way she rolled her eyes in annoyance, the too few kisses we had.

It was time to go and set things straight, tell her what I actually wanted to tell her the day I pushed her away. It was time to try and make a future, and hopefully, if everything went well, she'd be next to me.

I got into my car and drove over to the address Master Stewart had given me.

"It's been close ta seven years, lad," he'd said as he gave me the address, "just remember that."

I slowed to a stop in front of the address and with a deep breath I got out of the car and walked up to the door. I took another deep breath to try and calm myself. I'd been in battles where my heart didn't beat nearly as fast as it was in that moment. Before I could think anymore, and creep the neighbours out by just standing in front of the door, I raised my hand and knocked. Before I was ready, all too soon, I heard faint footsteps approaching the door.

When I heard the footsteps stop I took in a quick breath and blew it out equally as fast.

When I heard the lock click open I swallowed largely.

When I saw the doorknob start to turn I think I lost all train of thought.

The door opened and in the entrance stood Riley. Where my hair was longer her hair was cut shoulder length and with the extra weight gone it curled more at the bottoms. She looked older, not obviously older, but it was there in the slight laugh crinkles in the corner of her eyes. She still had one hand on the doorknob as she stood staring at me.

"Beck," she breathed out in a question. She looked at me as if she'd seen a ghost. Well maybe she had seeing as how I was a ghost from the past. She took a stuttering breath.

"Hey girl." It was so lame and yet in that moment I couldn't think of anything else to say. After a few more seconds that we spent just staring at each other, Riley unfroze.

"Beck," she said louder this time, her eyes travelling all over me unable to believe what she was seeing. She took two steps forward and unexpectedly pulled me into a tight hug. My heart vibrated as I hugged her back.

"God Beck, I didn't know what had happened to you," she said as she pulled back. "You just picked up and left, not a word to anyone, not a word to me. It's been what, almost seven years? We thought a fiend got you while you were trapping. Master Stewart and I stayed up almost three days straight trying to track you down." She shook her head in remembered frustration.

"I know, it was a selfish thin' te do, leave and not say a word te nobody. I had te go, figure things out in my life, put things straight."

Riley leaned back against the doorframe. "You left because of the article, didn't you?"

I shrugged slightly. 'That was a large part of it, yeah."

Riley shook her head. "What I don't understand is why you didn't tell me. I told you everything back then but you couldn't do the same? I thought we didn't have secrets."

I looked away and took a moment to find the words while I looked at the flower bed besides the porch. "I didn't want ya te know, didn't want ya te look at me differently because even if ye didn't believe it things would've changed for us." I paused and looked at Riley. "I had te go and figure out my own mess, alone, without draggin' ya along for the ride."

Riley took in the way he stood and the way he spoke. _He'd always been confident but there was a part of him that he used to keep closed off from everyone, including herself. It was something that made his entire body slump in weariness when he thought no one was looking. _As Riley looked at Beck now she could see that the shadow that followed him before wasn't there anymore; he looked like a free man.

"You figured it out, didn't you?"

I nodded. "I did. I dunno if ya heard but McGovern was tried and convicted of two counts of murder."

"I heard," Riley said softly. She smiled slightly at me. "I'm happy for you Beck, that you found the truth."

I swallowed but it did nothing for my dry throat.

"I found somethin' else," I looked into Riley's eyes, trapping them with my own. "I found that I couldn't forget ya, and somehow I didn't wanna. I found that whenever I saw a couple walkin' in town, holdin' hands and pushin' their stroller I wanted that te be us. I found that ya were the person I wanted te turn te when I heard somethin' funny, or when I was sad or in a mood because I knew that ya would know exactly what te say." I paused and tried to search past the shock on Riley's face.

"I found that even after seven years I still love ya," I said quietly.

She started to shake her head slowly but I wasn't sure if she didn't believe what I said or if she couldn't believe it. She opened her mouth to say something but before she could say anything, before she could possibly protest, I cut her off.

"I know it's been seven years, and I know I pushed ya away but ya need te understand," I pleaded, "I didn't want people lookin' at ya and whisperin' that ya were datin' a murderer. Ya were, _are_ too good for that."

Riley closed her eyes and her brow furrowed from pain. "Beck, stop," she said hoarsely.

I smiled a little and didn't listen; there was just one more thing I wanted to say.

"I've got no more secrets, no more bones in my closet and all I wanna do now is take yer hand and start again, with you by my side." I said it slowly, savouring every word because I'd been wanting to say that for so long, so damn long. My heart was completely at her mercy and I watched to see if she would pick it up and hold it close or if she would turn around and leave it there.

"Beck," she looked at me with wide, desperate, pained eyes and her breath hitched. "I can't." Tears started to form in her eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Beck but I can't, I just can't." She looked at me with equal parts pain and sympathy. Or maybe it was sympathetic pain.

From inside the house I heard another pair of footsteps and a voice called out.

"Honey, who is it?"

A man appeared from behind Riley and as he passed behind her he lightly touched the tips of his fingers to her bottom back. It was a gesture that was so gentle and reassuring and seemed to whisper 'I'm here if you need me' that I wondered if the man even knew he did it or if it was just all unconscious.

It was that gesture alone that broke my heart. In all the circumstances that I'd imagined – and trust me, there were a lot – never did I imagine this. As I stood there trying to catch my breath, trying to reorganise my face into something that wasn't broken, trying to scrape up what was left of my heart off the welcome mat, I wanted to scream at how selfish I had been. How selfish was I to think that after I yelled and cut her out of my life, that she'd just sit around counting flower petals until I came back seven years later. I wanted to go back to that naive me that arrived on her doorsteps five minutes before and give him a good slap upside the head.

More than that I wanted to know just how in the hell I was supposed to reorganise my life when the middle piece, the rock that the entire structure was built on, was pulled away.

I looked at the man, with his hazel eyes and curly brown hair that brushed the sides of his glasses; he stood beside Riley and looked at me quizzically. He looked at Riley and from the way his eyebrows lifted slightly in concern I could tell he wasn't buying Riley's plastered on smile.

"Is everything okay?"

Typically, in any other situation, the question would have come with hidden threats, glaring looks and pointed throat clearing. Usually this was the time when the guy would flex his muscles, cross his arms over his chest and expand like a bullfrog all in the sake of male dominance. Yet when this guy asked the question, he asked it like he was genuinely interested in the answer and that it wasn't a ploy to show who's boss. The way he looked at Riley, I could tell that he had full confidence in her, that this show was all hers to run and that he wasn't just going to strong handle his way in. I could tell because it was the same look I'd given her many years ago.

"I'm fine," she gave him a small reassuring smile that said that she didn't want to talk about it now but that they'll talk later. It was such a domestic expression that I could feel the green-eyed jealousy demon nag at me but I pushed it down because I had no right to that feeling.

Riley extended her hand toward me and looked at me hesitantly, as if she was unsure if she was allowed to do that. I gave her a small smile and Lord I hoped it didn't look like a grimace.

"This is Beck," she said and looked over at the guy. "You remember I told you about Beck."

The guy started to grin. "So you're Beck. It's nice to finally put a face to the name, I've heard so much about you." He held out his hand and I shook it. "Heard you're a hell of a demon trapper too." I wonder if he knew the whole story behind who I really was, because if he did and he was still this friendly then wow, he'd give the padre back home a run for his money.

"Beck," Riley carried on and she looked at me with those big eyes that held warmth and sympathy and apologies, "this is Aaron, he's my fiancé."

Of course. Truth be told, I couldn't say I was surprised. You'd have to be blind as a bat to not see the link that connected the two, but it still stung something fierce somewhere deep down; in a place where I wasn't expecting to bleed anymore. Not since I got my life rolling back on the right track.

Or so I thought anyway.

"It's nice te meet ya too," I said to Aaron and if he noticed the initial flash of pain that crossed my face, well, he was nice enough not to say anything.

Aaron smiled at me earnestly and it might have been my beaten up mind playing tricks on me but I could have sworn that there was a look in his eyes that said he knew. That he knew everything that I'd said, everything that I was feeling and that he understood. It wasn't pity, because I swear on my grandma's rhubarb pie, that if he'd looked at me with pity I would have punched him right then and there.

_Dammit Beck, you're not supposed to like the guy that steals your girl away..._

But I did. My gut was telling me that this was a good guy, truckloads better than that Simon kid and that angel guy...put together. I loved Riley enough to be happy for her, even if in that moment I wanted to grab her up, put her in my truck and drive until we ran out of gas.

"Why don't you join us for lunch," Aaron nodded with his head towards what I could only guess was the kitchen. "We were just about to sit down. You can tell us all about those demons you've got down in Saldersville. I've always wanted to know, is it true that the gators down there are 20 ft long? I read somewhere that there was this gator that went right up to the patio and ate the meat off the barbeque." Aaron shook his head in wonder.

I breathed out a laugh despite myself. He was a good guy and God, I'd missed Riley but there was just no universe where we all sat down and ate tea and crumpets like nothing was going on, even if that guy had the patience of a monk. I peeked over at Riley and she looked equally as horrified at the idea.

"I've got te get goin' actually. I just wanted to drop on by and say my hellos." Riley visibly relaxed and I didn't blame her.

"Well any other time you're in the neighbourhood don't be a stranger," and I felt he actually meant it.

"You've got seven years to catch me up on," Riley added with a hesitant smile.

I looked at both of them and I felt time come to a stop for just a fraction of a second. I let all my feelings for Riley rise to the surface; all the hidden hopes, all the fantasized plans I'd pictured in my head and had added to each night before I'd fallen asleep, all the love and desire that pulsed through my very being. I pulled it all to the surface and just held it there. I closed my eyes and for the last time, I let myself feel everything before I let it all pour out of me and seep into the ground. I knew I'd never mention anymore of this to Riley, that I wouldn't be showing up with anymore declarations. Once upon a time I'd had my chance and we'd had our moments but now it was time for me to move on. They were tall words when I stood there feeling like someone had beat me up with the point of an umbrella but I knew from the bottom of my heart that they were true. It was time to close that door and faintly smile at all the remembered memories as I locked it and threw away the key.

I blinked and time resumed. As I looked at Riley I knew that one day we'd be friends like we once were, maybe not tomorrow but one day. Hell, Aaron might even add into the friend category by the way things were shaping up.

I looked at the two of them and knew that this wasn't the last time we'd be seeing each other, but it was the last time I'd come with anything more than friendship in my heart.

"I might just take y'all up on that offer."

* * *

**As always, I love to hear from you guys if you want to tell me what you thought or if you have a word for a letter you really want me to do. I welcome the challenge, so you say Z is for Zucchini, I say bring it on! :D**

**Have a good one you all and thanks again!**


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